Thursday, 12 March 2009
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Happily Ever After
Isn't it just the dream? To be really good friends with a guy, realise you're madly in love, and live happily ever after. My friends and I have spent hours discussing this dream, and if I could plan the way I got together with my husband it would be like this, but I never considered what would happen if he didn't fall in love with me.
About a year ago I started hanging out with a guy from my church (let's call him Eric), and my best friend, a lot. It seemed our only motivation was that we enjoyed each other's company, we had similar taste in movies, games, conversations, and any differences just added some spice to the usual routine. The three of us became very close friends in a short space of time and I was happiest when I was with them. My best friend knew I had a bit of a thing for Eric, and would occasionally hesitate in the aisle so I could sit next to him in the cinema, or meet up with us late so we'd have time to chat alone. And it seemed that everyone else thought that Eric and I would eventually become a couple, and whilst I would have loved that, I was so happy to just be friends with him.
And then my best friend left. Long before Eric had come into the picture, we were completely inseparable, two peas in a pod if you will, and when she left I didn't handle it so well. Going to that church just reminded me of her, reminded me that I had very few other friends (was in the transition between high school and uni), so I left. And when my best friend left, and then I left the church a few weeks later, Eric stopped speaking to us. It wasn't done maliciously, or so I assume, but we just didn't see each other anymore.
From his perspective I guess it would seem that he wasn't enough to hang around for, but if he'd asked me to stay I would have; if he'd spoken to me on my last Sunday at that church, I would have stayed one more week. But I was so hurt by the fact that he wasn't there for me when I so badly needed a friend, and I needed to know that he liked me for me, and not for my best friend.
Months later I returned to my church to see how I felt about it, and because I missed Eric. Surprised to see me, he came over to chat and my faith in him was revived. The next week I went again, confident that he'd speak to me again, he was helping to clear up the hall and I sat on the side pretending to be busy, so that he could see I was there, and so once he was finished, he could come over and talk to me. He didn't.
Maybe I meant nothing to him, maybe it really was just because he liked my best friend. Maybe when he thought he'd lost me, he wanted me back, but once he had me, he didn't care. Maybe I'm the only one who cared. All I want now is closure, I want to know if he ever liked me, cared about me or even just thought I was a good friend. I want to either forget about him, or have a reason to hold on, because I'm so sick of waiting.
I fell for my best guy friend, and didn't live happily ever after, did you?
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Comments (4)
My best guy friend and I were friends for 7 years and somewhere within that span of time, I "fell in love" with him. (I put that last part in quotations, because looking back now, I realize it wasn't really love.) When I finally told him about my feelings, it sent the friendship down into a spiral and now we're just Facebook friends. Sad, huh? Now, my best guy friend is my husband. I wanted to tell you my story and let you know that your story isn't over. You will find your happy ending.
@RoAngie467@momaroo - Thanks for sharing your story, it gives me a little hope :)
I agree with RoAngie - we all get our happy endings eventually, but there are always disappointments along the way. I've been disappointed by lack of communication, lost in translation, and even the simple non-act of losing touch. Eventually, though, you and I both will be swept off our feet by someone beautiful.
Pardon me, it's raining so I'm rather dramatic. :)
Can't say that I've had this particular experience, but I just keep telling myself that God will bring around the right person eventually. Of course that doesn't make the waiting any more fun! Thanks so much for you comment, and have a blessed day. I will remember you in my prayers, too. :)